A Dogs Prayer (Smashing Pumpkins)

I have 2 dogs. Saga and Ky. I brought them with me when I moved. I call them "The Girls". I love my dogs, probably more then some humans I know. They were born in Florida. They are both 5 years old. Saga is an Akita/Shepherd mix. She has a beautiful brindle coat and lots of it. Ky is a cat in a small dogs body. We aren't sure what she is. The Humane Society has her breed as a Chihuahua/Shepherd mix but I don't think it's possible. She really looks like she has terrier in her. Needless to say the dog has very little fur and is bald on her belly. Our friends are always asking "How are the dogs taking the cold?" Well Saga is in heaven! She has discovered wild animal smells and is now "Saga The Huntress!" OK, in her mind anyway. It is comical to watch her when we take the girls out for their walks. Saga buries her head in the snow up to her shoulders smelling, sniffing and tracking. All you can see is the back half of her. When she isn't tracking, she likes to sit out on the porch and watch for wild animals.
Ky tries to track like Saga, but she has short legs and doesn't like the cold snow on her belly. If Saga goes into deep snow, Ky stands and bitches at her from the road, then always makes sure to bite Saga when she gets back just to show her who's boss. When it is snowing, she bites at the snowflakes like they are flies. Ky is a real trooper though. She has only cried once about being cold, and we immediately brought her in. Lars bought her a new fleece coat last week. She didn't look like she liked it too much, but she will get used to it. Maybe now she can go tracking moose!

Back To School (Deftones)

At the young age of 44 I have found myself back in school. No, I am not going to college. Been there done that. I am not taking a self improvement class to learn about floral arrangement. I am learning my A B C's - in Svenska! For 2.5 days a week, I join people which represent 16 other countries to learn Swedish language. Trust me, it is as difficult as you can imagine. In America we pronounce our alphabet Ayyy Beee Ceee. Here is Sweden, they pronounce it Ahh, Baya, Seya, etc. And if that wasn't enough to confuse me, they have 3 additional vowels Ä, Å and Ö. I can hear some people thinking "Come on, it is just the alphabet, how hard can it be?" Well, in the U.S. the consonants "SK" are pronounced "SK"! Here in Sweden, depending on what vowel follows can be pronounced "SK" OR "HW". It can be truly mind boggling.
I am lucky to have a wonderful teacher at skola (school). Her name is Anna-Stina. She has a gift for languages and often speaks in Swedish, English, Spanish and tries hard to speak in Arabic at the same time so everyone in the class understands. Still, I think the best teacher is time. I have met other Americans that have been here for 5 years or longer and speak (what I think is outstanding) Swedish and even have a Scandanavian accent when they speak English. So hopefully one day I will be able to have a conversation that doesn't start with "Talar Ni Engelska?" translated "Do you speak English?"

Post Office Buddy (Buckethead)

Here is a unique idea: Sell boxes in various sizes for domestic and international mailing. The price of the packages includes the cost of shipping. Well that is how they do it in Sweden! At certain stores (grocery and retail) the public can buy stamps and packages for mailing, pick up packages too large to be delivered in your post box and where you bring packages to be mailed.
They offer everything from small mailing envelopes to large boxes. You can stuff them full and send them to wherever for one set price. Are you paying attention U.S.P.S.?

Here Comes ..Tomte?

Christmas arrives here in Sweden on December 24th. This was my first Christmas abroad. I was excited and nervous with anticipation because I didn't know what to expect or what was expected of me.
Like many families, we gathered at a designated family members home. In our case it was my in laws Sture and Anette's home. We watched the traditional Christmas show called "Kalle Anka". Kalle Anka translated is Donald Duck! The cartoons are a collection of old Disney cartoons and movies from the 40's to now. It is shown at the same time every year and a Swedish tradition. The children could hardly keep still as they anxiously awaited for the arrival of Tomte.
Tomte is the Swedish version of Santa Claus. He is a gnome-like, old man with long hair wearing a red and white cap. Tomte hands out the gifts to everyone. I read that in some families, a rhyme or riddle must be solved before the gift can be opened. I am really glad my family doesn't do that. I'd probably be still sitting here with an unopened gift! I am not sure exactly what tradition is as to who plays Tomte. I think generally someone offers to play Tomte, but Lars informed me that some people are paid to go around to different homes as Tomte. The children here, like the kids in the U.S. eventually figure it out. This year, our nephew Sebastian was asked to play Tomte. He was SO EXCITED!
I can speak from experience living in the U.S. that Christmas is a very stressful and expensive holiday. As parents we want to give your children and family everything they wish for and desire and in exchange you get into debt and lose a bit of your sanity. I don't know if it is the media or our culture or both that pound it into our heads that more is better. I think some parents think by giving their children everything they want is showing them they love them. I am guilty of doing this myself. Thankfully, I learned it isn't.
The stores in the U.S. have sales that create riots and put customers in danger. I have a former co-worker whose mother in law was trampled on Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving in the U.S.) when trying to get into a store that was offering something that apparently many people wanted. In Sweden, they have sales at their stores, but I haven't seen a mob waiting outside the doors to get in. I think most people do not give expensive or tons of gifts to their children here. Many of the gifts are homemade. It brings to mind the saying "It's the thought that counts." OK back to Christmas.
After Donald Duck and Tomte is my favorite subject....FOOD! I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I know fish was involved and I am not a fish person. Among the foods were Julskinka or Christmas ham and salmon pate with a dill sauce. There were cold cuts with interesting names like "horsemeat" that really weren't horse. There was a traditional dish called Jonsson's Temptation. This is a combination of sliced potatoes, onions, anchovies and cream. It may sound gross but I can tell you it is very delicious! Like I stated before, I do not like fish. In the U.S. I was the only member of our Sushi Club that didn't eat the stuff. lol They also served boiled potato, köttbullar or meatballs, mini hotdogs, beets, pickles, bread. I tried everything. I didn't like everything, but I gave it a try. It was a lovely experience.

Suffer The Children (Tears For Fears)

I pretty much raised my 3 children alone. Their father has contributed next to nothing in support. In America this is pretty typical. The court system has little to no concern about children unless you are on welfare. And you are on welfare, the child support office will make more of an effort to collect support. But you are forced off welfare once the children are a certain age and basically shit out of luck if you have a deadbeat parent. I could buy a home with what my ex husband owes me in child support. But the courts will not do anything to enforce payment. Maybe the U.S. should take a look at the how Sweden does it. The parent gets their child support from the Government. It isn't welfare. It's child support. The government sends the bill to the other parent. The parent raising the children can pay their bills and take care of their children. They don't have to worry about robbing Peter to pay Paul *hopefully* and the children are taken care of as they deserve. The other parent has a debt with the Government. Maybe I am crazy, but I really like that idea! What do you think?

Money Changes Everything (Cyndi Lauper)

Sweden did away with pennies. I am not sure when, but everything is rounded now to an even half or full krona. When you go to the store the price you see is the price you pay. There is no tax added at the register because it is already calculated in and is displayed. No surprises. Another interesting thing that is done here is currency is retired. There are new kronors out and the old ones have to be exchanged by a certain date or they are no longer valid. Can you imagine not having to use pennies, nickels and dimes in the U.S.?

Let's Get This Party Started (Korn)

A few days after we arrive in Sweden, we went to a "Porridge Party" at the village house. I think it is safe to write that nearly every village has a village house. They have parties, village meetings and celebrations in them. Since it was close to Christmas, this was our villages Christmas party.
We paid a few crowns and enjoyed a nice flatbread sandwich made with Christmas ham and butter, a bowl of porridge, glögg, gingerbread cookies, saffron buns and coffee.
In Sweden they celebrate Lucia. Some of the children in the village dress in white cotton gowns. The girls have a crown or wreath around there heads and the boys wear a cone on their head. The part of Lucia is played by a young girl who wears candles in her crown or wreath. They sing Santa Lucia and other traditional songs to the folks there. It was a very nice experience.

I Saw It On TV (John Fogerty)

We live in a very rural area. Cable isn't available, but satellite tv is. If you don't have cable or a dish, you have 3 channels. 1,2 & 4. Interestingly enough, you have to pay for a license to watch these. If you don't and "The Man" finds out, you could be fined.
I remember as a kid trying to stay up until the tv station shut off. After Wolfman Jack and the Midnight Special, the station would stop broadcasting. All that was displayed until the station came back up was a screen that looked sort of like a radioactive sign and a constant annoying "Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" The stations we have here are the same. Sometimes I turn on the tv at 8am in the morning and the station isn't on yet.

Life By Numbers (Jim Lauderdale)

In Sweden, you have a personal number. If you are born in Sweden you are given a number. If you move to Sweden, then you are assigned one when you register. It always begins with your date of birth and is followed by 4 addition numbers. For example 611226 is the start of mine because I was born December 26, 1961. Kind of like a social security number in the states.
If you are not registered in Sweden, you really can't do much. You can't get a telephone hooked up without putting down a HUGE deposit, you can't get a job, open a bank account, etc. Your existence here depends on that number.

Welcome Home (Metallica)

Do you know what dogs do when you take them out of a crate they have been couped up in for over 10 hours? Well, our little Princess Kyra Fay aka Ky was taking a poop before she was even out the door of the Arlanda airport! My sister in law Carina was right there with a poop bag. You gotta love your fellow dog owners! They are always prepared for such emergencies.
We finally arrived in Stockholm. We only had a 6-8 hour drive to get home. My mother in law rented a U-Haul (or the Swedish equivalency) for the crates and luggage. The dogs were happy to be out of the crates but were wondering where the hell they were when we were putting them in the car. The trip was emotionally and physically draining, but we were finally home.

S & M Airlines (NoFX)

We had all the paperwork completed to move to Sweden. We arrived at Miami International Airport (MIA) via my son Richard driving my fathers truck. Our dogs Saga and Ky were in the back in their new crates along with the ton of luggage. The porters helped up load everything onto carts and took us to the counter at British Air. While standing there, there were only a few people in line. We thought since we had the dogs that there was a special check in. Ahh, no! As time went on they started checking people in. The line was now stretched to around the corner and when I asked the reservationist when we were going to get checked in, she said one of us had to get in line. So Lars went around the corner and stood in line while the dogs cried for him and I stood there trying to calm them down. A supervisor heard the dogs and told the lady to process us next. While getting our tickets, a man came out from behind the wall with a camera. He told us "Your dogs will not be flying with you today." I looked at him like he had 4 heads. "Oh yes they are!" I replied. He told us that both British Air and we would be charged with animal cruelty in London because the dogs crates weren't large enough. Now, the dogs were fine. They had room to sit, stand, etc. but apparently they needed a bedroom. Ky could go into Saga's crate but we would have to find a larger crate for her.
With an hour and a half left to flight, I ran down to a car rental kiosk, looked up and called the nearest Petsmart pet store (with the help of the car rental guy) to see if they had an extra large crate, hailed a cab/van and was off to downtown Miami in search of a larger crate. I got to the pet store to find the extra large crate the gentleman told me about on the phone was the same size as the one Saga was already in. I broke down. The store manager came over and asked what was going on and within a few minutes she said there was one larger crate in the back and sent the guy to get it. The crate cost nearly $300 (choke). We loaded it into the back of the cab and hauled ass as fast as we could to the airport. We made it back in time to be xrayed and board the plane.
I need to bitch a little about this. First of all, there is nothing on the BA website about a European regulation size for animal crates. Secondly, all the paperwork and testing that a pet owner must go through is expensive and time consuming. You would think that the the airlines, the U.S.D.A. or the vet's office would have this info about crate size regulation but they don't. When we called BA to register the dogs to fly, they asked the dogs weights, the dimensions of the crates but never mentioned anything about crate size regulations. This was an unneccessary, emotionally draining experience. I pity any other pet owner that has to go through this.

Have Love Will Travel (Sonics)

I met someone over the internet by accident, fell in love and eventually married him. He lived in Sweden and I was living in Florida (U.S.A.) We have been together now for a number of years and recently moved to Sweden. We live in Jämtland, which is sort of like a state and in the village of Grimnäs.

Moving to another country can be an adventure!